when your parents ask you to help them with technology
- white dad in any movie: but son, you're throwing away your DREAM
- white son in any movie: no dad, I'm throwing away ~yours~
Me at a bar:
Yes hello bartender I’d like some h20 on the rocks plz shaken not stirred
“i need to get something off my chest”
yeah it’s your shirt let me help you with that
there’s 100 millon ppl on tumblr so if we all put in $20 we could buy tumblr for $2 billion and then yahoo couldn’t have it
PIZZA YOU’RE SO SMART
why do women’s clothing designers believe that girls do not need pockets
It’s so they can sell us bags
we need some new and more powerful swears
marry a guy who has sisters because he’s seen the female in her natural state therefore won’t have any unrealistic expectations of you
